Batman Villains Look to Steal Oscars

So Heath Ledger won an Oscar for his portrayal of The Joker in The Dark Knight. I completely agree that he did a great job with this character and was a great choice for the role. One thing the Nolan Batman movies have always nailed is casting. They seem to find just the right people for every role. Bale makes a good Batman, but he makes an even better Bruce Wayne. Oldman, Jesus that guy became Jim Gordon! Michael Caine, who doesn’t want him as your father-figure/butler? Aaron Eckhart was a great Harvey Dent/Two-Face.

Ok so does playing a Batvillian give you an automatic Oscar? Who knows? I’m sure all of Hollywood is clamoring to be in Nolan’s next Bat Film.

The Riddler: a villain who uses puzzles and riddles to set up and organize his crimes, loves to leave clues to see if Batman can figure them out in time. Jim Carrey played this role in the so/so Batman Forever. So if this were just another summer blockbuster they’d probably get Justin Long. The next movie would have to be more dark and realistic of course so in this case the Oscar goes to… “Ryan Gosling”.

The Penguin: a deformed crime boss who on occasion commits bird themed crimes. Physically Danny DeVito is the only man in Hollywood who could play and own that character. He was a perfect choice but I doubt he’d reprise the role. The average summer blockbuster would cast Mike Meyers or Eddie Murphy to don a fat suit and it would be a laugh riot I’ m sure. However in this case the Oscar goes to …”Philip Seymour Hoffman”

Catwoman: an infamous cat burglar and potential love interest to Batman, and depending on who you ask, former prostitute. Michelle Pfieffer and Halle Berry both played her, but neither owned the character. The easy choice would be to get Jessica Alba into the cat suit and honestly I wouldn’t mind seeing that, but the Oscar goes to… “Keira Knightly”.

Killer Croc: a deformed circus performer with leathery skin and super strength, not much more than scary hired muscle. Nobody has played him yet in a live action show so I have no frame of reference. If this were a cheesy blockbuster they would get WWE’s Kane. But in this case the Oscar goes to … “Mickey Rourke” (saves on make-up too)

Poison Ivy: a woman who is a skilled botanist and uses her knowledge to poison people and commit crimes usually with a eco- terrorism theme. Uma Thurman should have been a good choice but she was in the Batman and Robin (with armor nipples). Megan Fox could just dye her hair red, which once again I wouldn’t mind seeing BUT we want an Oscar movie, so in this case the Oscar goes to… “Cate Blanchett”.

Mr Freeze: a scientist trapped in a cryogenic suit due to an accident, he needs diamonds to power his portable suit, so he usually does diamond themed crimes. Arnold Schwarzenegger played him in the Joel Schumacher’s WTD Batman and Robin. If this were a standard movie they would get Will Ferrell to play Mr Freeze. The Oscar however goes to… “Tom Hanks”

Batman’s Rogue’s gallery goes on and on but I think I’ve accurately represented the major baddies still left. All joking aside I do think Gosling would make a good Riddler, but I’ll just wait patiently and let Chris Nolan and company surprise me.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s